Etiquette Quiz

Are you often irritated by those less-than-courteous fellow cinematic patrons?
If so, take this quiz and learn the proper way of handling these malcontents.

1. The Toe Cruncher: When a restless moviegoer is constantly walking back and forth (while stepping on your feet), you…
a) ignore the situation.
b) move to a less traveled area.
c) duct tape the clumsy offender securely to their seat!

2. The Seat Kicker: When a fidgety moviegoer is repeatedly kicking the back of your chair, you...
a) move to another seat.
b) kindly ask the person to cease and desist.
c) offer to remove the offenders legs with a chainsaw if they persist!

3. The Snacker: When a hungry moviegoer is enthusiastically stuffing their face, you…
a) sample the leftovers that land in your lap.
b) ask the snacker to keep their munching to a minimum.
c) put a muzzle on wideload and sign them up for weight watchers!

4. The Congested Hacker: When a sickly moviegoer is constantly coughing, sneezing, wheezing and clearing their throat, you…
a) try to ignore the suffering individual.
b) offer the person a nasal decongestant.
c) call an ambulance and have the germ factory forcibly removed for experimental medical testing!

5. The Socializer: When a preoccupied moviegoer is engaged in conversation, totally unrelated to the film, you…
a) try not to eavesdrop on the private conversation.
b) kindly request that the person go to the lobby to socialize
c) inform everyone in the theater that blabbermouth has chronic diarrhea and flatulence, potential listeners will distance themselves immediately!

6. The Costar: When a delusional moviegoer is having a running dialogue with the screen, you…
a) avoid eye contact at all costs.
b) suggest that the person pursue their acting career elsewhere.
c) direct the "actor" to the nearest exit… use a swift kick to the rear, if motivation is required!

7. The Babysitter: When parents dump their unruly, unsupervised children at the theater, you…
a) understand that kids will be kids.
b) ask the manager to supervise the undisciplined children.
c) intimidate the brats until they cry then follow them home and bodyslam their parents!

8. Last but not least… The Narrator: When a vocal moviegoer is erroneously repeating, explaining or giving away the plot of the entire film, you…
a) try to stay focused on the movie.
b) ask that the person lower their voice so not to ruin the film for everyone.
c) forego the can and open up a whole case of whup ass!!